The New (Not So) Soft Shoe

Ah, summertime - good weather (well, sometimes), long light evenings, strolling around in your summer finery, isn't it great?

The only thing that seems to suffer at this time of the year is my feet. Summer footwear just doesn't like me. I seem to be missing the girly shoes-and-handbags gene, so all I want from shoes is that they fit reasonably well, don't cost the earth, and don't look utterly hideous. Not too much to ask, you wouldn't think. And yet, every year, the dreaded World Of Sandals leaves me a bloodied, crippled wreck.

I should have known better really - seeing all those other people happily walking around in open toed, open-backed, feet-freeing styles led me to believe it was a straightforward business. So I took the plunge, and bought myself one of those thong-style numbers. What could possibly go wrong? Only a tiny little bit of leather between two toes, that couldn't hurt, now could it? About a month or so later, the wounds and blisters have finally healed...

Time for attempt number two - a simple straightforward slip-on wooden-soled effort this time. They seemed fine at home, so I thought I'd brave an expedition into town. I even planned ahead - "they might slip off" I thought, "so I'll make sure the strap is suitably tight". They stayed on - so well, in fact, that the chafing started to annoy me. When the lesions threatened to start bleeding I had to stop and loosen the strap a notch: cue both "toes over the edge" and "oops I've lost my shoe" syndromes... And all that whilst trekking from shop to shop on a quest for a shoe stretcher - beat that Alanis.

The shoe stretcher is for my other summer shoe purchase, the absolutely essential baby blue mocassins. Currently, walking a mile in them results in bleeding ankles - I have my doubts as to whether that was the original meaning of the saying...

So is it just me who has these problems? Are the myriad of happy shoppers, nonchalantly strolling about flaunting their fancy footwear, secretly in agony? Are they just better actors than me? Do they start limping as soon as they think no-one can see them?

Or should I add sensitive feet to the already irritatingly long list? (teeth, eyes, skin, soul...) If anyone knows of a location where it's safe to wander around barefoot and do away with the problem altogether, please let me know (ideally, this should Involve being able to leave the house - it gets lonely after a while). Thank you, and goodnight.