Ever felt like life is racing by as you sit at the sidelines watching? Some are in the yellow jersey, most coast along with the peloton: I'm back with the lanterne rouge.
Mostly self-inflicted, of course. It's easier to bury your head in the sand (or the sleep, mindless television and somnambulism equivalent) than to make the effort to sort out things that need sorting. And yet another day, week, month, year goes by with a long list of undone tasks and unlived life.
Even simple tasks are beyond me sometimes - getting out of bed is a major achievement in a day, venturing outdoors as good as climbing Everest. Once upon a time I had ambitions, plans for the future, things to look forward to. When I think of them now, they taunt me with their vision of how things could be, if I wasn't me, and my mind wasn't continually stuck in a quagmire.
I know this slump won't last forever.
But I also know that others just like it will trip me up again: it's just the nature of the beast, and at times like this it's hard to imagine anything else.
1 comment:
Even though it may seem a bit diabolical, consider this point: those achievers do not play a fair game. They get where they are in large part by "eliminating the competition". A good part of the competition can be eliminated by convincing the potential players that they belong on the margins watching the game. Thus, we can call this psychological ploy marginalization. I do not necessarily agree, then, that your predicament is "mostly self-inflicted". But it does certainly involve the self, because that is the mechanism which esteems others. Those others (real people in your past and present, even the people on television) may very well be marginalizing you by way of your focus on them. What a trick!
Just a few ideas. I hope you break the slump soon.
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