Say what?

The Daily Record, inspired by the highly dubious news that U2's One has apparently been voted the nation's favourite lyric in a poll by VH1 (I always knew the nation had dodgy taste) has published a list of what it considers the worst lyrics ever. It goes like so:

1. Now I'm a little shy I like to stay homeo' Shakespeare's my guy Julie and Romeo

BA Robertson, To Be Or Not To Be

2. Sit back, Rap attack, don't take no flack,
rhyme in time to the rhythm of the track.
I'm Ant, I'm Declan, a Duo, a Twosome,
So many lyrics we're frightened to use 'em.

PJ and Duncan (AKA Ant and Dec), Let's Get Ready To Rhumble

3. You say black I say white,
You say bark I say bite,
You say shark I say hey man,
Jaws was never my scene,
And I don't like Star Wars,

Queen, Bicycle Race

4. Desmond has a barrow in the market place,
Molly is the singer in a band.
Desmond says to Molly, girl I like your face,
And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand...
Obladi oblada, life goes on.

The Beatles, Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da

5. It takes a little time sometimes, to get the Titanic turned back around.

Amy Grant, It Takes A Little Time

6. A Pizza Hut a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut.
A Pizza Hut a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut.
McDonald's McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut.

Fast Food Rockers, Fast Food Song

7. I'm as serious as cancer, When I say rhythm is a dancer.

Snap, Rhythm Is A Dancer

8. I walked through this place, although it wasn't really there.
And when I reached the other side, thought I didn't really care.
I moved round a bit, and started seeing people.
And the people that I met, oh were all covered in treacle.

UFO, Treacle People

9. Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got.
I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block.
Used to have a little, now I have a lot.
No matter where I go, I know where I came from,
South-Side Bronx.

Jennifer Lopez, Jenny From The Block

10. I know I sound serious and baby I am.
You're a fine piece of real estate, and I'm gonna get me some land.

Shania Twain, I'm Gonna Getcha Good

11. I'm for real, it ain't no quirk,
My love is waiting the way a rapist would lurk.

Goldie Lookin' Chain, You Know I Loves You Baby

12. Now Sidney was a greaser with some nasty roots.
He poured a pint of Guinness over Benny's boots. Benny looked at Sidney,
Sidney stared right back in his eye.
Sidney chose a switchblade
And Benny got a cold meat pie.
Oh! what a terrible sight.

Emerson Lake and Palmer, Benny The Bouncer

13. Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony.
Side by side on my piano keyboard,
oh Lord, why don't we?

Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, Ebony And Ivory

14. More sacrifices than an aztec priest.
Standing here straining at that leash.
All fall down,
Can't complain,
Mustn't grumble,
Help yourself to another peace of apple crumble.

ABC, That Was Then But This Is Now

15. Did you see Lisa?
Yes I saw Lisa.
Is that why you're angry?
I wasn't angry.
Maybe a little.
Not even maybe.
Must be the weather.
Now don't be a baby.

Dean Friedman, Lucky Stars

16. And-a mama used to say all-a time:
What's-a matter you? Hey!
Gotta no respect.
What-a you t'ink you do?
Why you look-a so sad?
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place
Ahshaddap-a you face!

Joe Dolce, Shaddap You Face

17. You can tell my arms
Go back into the farm!
You can tell my feet to hit the floor.
You can tell my lips to tell my fingertips,
they won't be reaching out for you no more.
But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart.

Billy Ray Cyrus, Achy Breaky Heart

18. Lucky that my breasts are small and humble,
So you don't confuse them with mountains.

Shakira, Whenever, Wherever

19. Your boyfriend he,
Went down on one knee.
Well could it be,
He's only got one knee?

Morrissey, King Leer

20. I'm a make, make, make, make you scream'
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump'
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

Black Eyed Peas, My Humps

I'm not entirely sure how Des'ree's "Life" managed to escape their attention (I'm afraid of the dark, especially when I'm in a park/ And there's no one else around, ooh I get the shivers/ I don't wanna see a ghost, it's the sight that I fear most/I'd rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news).

Any other nominees, folks?