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Friday, December 30, 2005

Pointless Film Lists

Just because.... here's some notable best film type lists, with those I've seen in bold. I've been very good, and those I've only seen part of/ abandoned in sheer boredom/ fallen asleep while watching haven't been counted.

AFI's 100 YEARS...100 MOVIES

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941)
2. CASABLANCA (1942)
3. THE GODFATHER (1972)
4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
7. THE GRADUATE (1967)
8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9. SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993)
10. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
11. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957)
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
15. STAR WARS (1977)
16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)
18. PSYCHO (1960)
19. CHINATOWN (1974)
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)
24. RAGING BULL (1980)
25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)
26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964) (I know, I know, but I have a passionate hatred of Peter Sellers*, so I just can't face it, sorry)
27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)
28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)
30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948)
31. ANNIE HALL (1977)
32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)
33. HIGH NOON (1952)
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969) (I keep missing the majority of this when it's on TV. Fine soundtrack though)
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
42. REAR WINDOW (1954)
43. KING KONG (1933)
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915)
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
47. TAXI DRIVER (1976)
48. JAWS (1975)
49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)
50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940) (number one on my list, fact fans)
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953)
53. AMADEUS (1984)
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)
56. M*A*S*H (1970)
57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)
58. FANTASIA (1940)
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)
61. VERTIGO (1958) (number two on my list, and I'm amazed it's this low down)
62. TOOTSIE (1982)
63. STAGECOACH (1939) (not a big western fan)
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
66. NETWORK (1976)
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962)
68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)
69. SHANE (1953) (see Stagecoach)
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971)
71. FORREST GUMP (1994)
72. BEN-HUR (1959)
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)
78. ROCKY (1976)
79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)
80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)
81. MODERN TIMES (1936)
82. GIANT (1956)
83. PLATOON (1986)
84. FARGO (1996)
85. DUCK SOUP (1933) (this needs to be rectified sharpish)
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)
87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
88. EASY RIDER (1969)
89. PATTON (1970)
90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)
91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)
93. THE APARTMENT (1960)
94. GOODFELLAS (1990)
95. PULP FICTION (1994)
96. THE SEARCHERS (1956) (I've tried to get through this a few times but I just can't do it - it's a western, it stars John Wayne, and I don't care if it's a classic, it bores me to tears)
97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
98. UNFORGIVEN (1992)
99. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER (1967)
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942) (some mistake surely...)

The BFI 100 List
  1. The Third Man 1949.
  2. Brief Encounter 1945.
  3. Lawrence of Arabia 1962.
  4. The 39 Steps 1935.
  5. Great Expectations 1946.
  6. Kind Hearts and Coronets 1949.
  7. Kes 1969.
  8. Don't Look Now 1973.
  9. The Red Shoes 1948.
  10. Trainspotting 1996.
  11. The Bridge on the River Kwai 1957.
  12. If 1968.
  13. The Ladykillers 1955.
  14. Saturday Night and Sunday Morning 1960.
  15. Brighton Rock 1947.
  16. Get Carter 1971.
  17. The Lavender Hill Mob 1951.
  18. Henry V 1944.
  19. Chariots of Fire 1981.
  20. A Matter of Life and Death 1946.
  21. The Long Good Friday 1980.
  22. The Servant 1963.
  23. Four Weddings And A Funeral 1994.
  24. Whisky Galore 1949. (the possibility of hideous fake Scottish accents has put me off this one)
  25. The Full Monty 1997.
  26. The Crying Game 1992.
  27. Doctor Zhivago 1965.
  28. Monty Python's Life of Brian 1979.
  29. Withnail and I 1987.
  30. Gregory's Girl 1980.
  31. Zulu 1964.
  32. Room at the Top 1958.
  33. Alfie 1966.
  34. Gandhi 1982.
  35. The Lady Vanishes 1938.
  36. The Italian Job 1969.
  37. Local Hero 1983.
  38. The Commitments 1991.
  39. A Fish Called Wanda 1988.
  40. Secrets & Lies 1995.
  41. Dr No 1962.
  42. The Madness of King George 1994.
  43. A Man For All Seasons 1966.
  44. Black Narcissus 1947 (this one jolly well ought to be higher up the list I reckon)
  45. The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp 1943.
  46. Oliver Twist 1948.
  47. I'm All Right Jack 1959.
  48. Performance 1970.
  49. Shakespeare in Love 1998.
  50. My Beautiful Laundrette 1985.
  51. Tom Jones 1963.
  52. This Sporting Life 1963.
  53. My Left Foot 1989.
  54. Brazil 1985.
  55. The English Patient 1996.
  56. A Taste of Honey 1961.
  57. The Go-Between 1970.
  58. The Man in the White Suit 1951. (I'd have this one higher up as well)
  59. The Ipcress File 1965.
  60. Blow Up 1966.
  61. The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner 1962.
  62. Sense and Sensibility 1995. (this one, on the other hand...)
  63. Passport to Pimlico 1949.
  64. The Remains of the Day 1993.
  65. Sunday, Bloody Sunday 1971.
  66. The Railway Children 1970.
  67. Mona Lisa 1986.
  68. The Dam Busters 1955.
  69. Hamlet 1948.
  70. Goldfinger 1964.
  71. Elizabeth 1998.
  72. Goodbye Mr. Chips 1939.
  73. A Room With A View 1985.
  74. The Day of the Jackal 1973.
  75. The Cruel Sea 1952.
  76. Billy Liar 1963.
  77. Oliver 1968.
  78. Peeping Tom 1960.
  79. Far From the madding Crowd 1967.
  80. The Draughtsman's Contract 1982.
  81. A Clockwork Orange 1971.
  82. Distant Voices, Still Lives 1988.
  83. Darling 1965.
  84. Educating Rita 1983.
  85. Brassed Off 1996.
  86. Genevieve 1953.
  87. Women in Love 1969.
  88. A Hard Day's Night 1964.
  89. Fires Were Started 1943.
  90. Hope and Glory 1987.
  91. My Name is Joe 1998.
  92. In Which We Serve 1942.
  93. Caravaggio 1986.
  94. The Belles of St. Trinian's 1954
  95. Life is Sweet 1990.
  96. The Wicker Man 1973.
  97. Nil By Mouth 1997.
  98. Small Faces 1995.
  99. Carry On Up The Khyber 1968.
  100. The Killing Fields 1984.


The Times’ Best 100 French Films (divided into categories)

Modern Classics

Amélie (Le Fabuleux Destin D’amélie Poulain) (Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 2001)
Savage Nights (Les Nuits Fauves) (Cyril Collard, 1992)
Wild Reeds (Les Roseaux Sauvages) (André Téchiné, 1994)
Nelly And Mr Arnaud (Nelly & Monsieur Arnaud) (Claude Sautet, 1995, DVD region 1)
The Dream Life Of Angels (La Vie Rêvée Des Anges) (Erick Zonca, 1998)
Beau Travail (Claire Denis, 1999)

Time Regained (Le Temps Retrouvé) (Raoul Ruiz, 1999)
Fat Girl (À Ma Soeur!) (Catherine Breillat, 2001)
Time Out (L’emploi Du Temps) (Laurent Cantet, 2001)
The Dodge (L’esquive) (Abdellatif Kechiche, 2003)

Modern Cults


The Big Blue (Le Grand Bleu) (Luc Besson, 1988)
Delicatessen (Marc Caro & Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 1991)
City Of Lost Children (La Cité Des Enfants Perdus) (Marc Caro & Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 1995)
My Sex Life (Or How To Get Into An Argument) (Comment Je Me Suis Disputé . . . Ma Vie Sexuelle) (Arnaud Desplechin, 1996)
I Stand Alone (Seul Contre Tous) (Gaspar Noé, 1998)
The Dinner Game (Le Dîner De Cons) (Francis Veber, 1998)
Harry, He’s Here To Help (Harry, Un Ami Qui Vous Veut Du Bien) (Dominik Moll, 2000)
Demonlover (Olivier Assayas, 2002)
Belleville Rendez-Vous (Les Triplettes De Belleville) (Sylvain Chomet, 2003)
Hate (La Haine) (Mathieu Kassovitz, 1995, b/w)

Dramas

Grand Illusion (La Grande Illusion) (Jean Renoir, 1937, b/w)
Marius/Fanny/César (The Marseilles Trilogy) (Alexander Korda/Marc Allégret/ Marcel Pagnol, 1931/32/36, b/w)
The Wages Of Fear (Le Salaire De La Peur) (Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1953, b/w)
Pickpocket (Robert Bresson, 1959, b/w)
Army In The Shadows (L’armée Des Ombres) (Jean-Pierre Melville, 1969)
Vincent, François, Paul And The Others (Vincent, François, Paul Et Les Autres) (Claude Sautet, 1974,
A Sunday In The Country (Un Dimanche À La Campagne) (Bertrand Tavernier, 1984)
Au Revoir Les Enfants (Louis Malle, 1987)
The Three Colours Trilogy: Red, White And Blue (Trois Couleurs: Rouge, Blanc, & Bleu) (Krzysztof Kieslowski, 1993/ 1999)
Look At Me (Comme Une Image) (Agnès Jaoui, 2004)

Romances


The Children Of Paradise (Les Enfants Du Paradis) (Marcel Carné, 1945, b/w)
(fan-flipping-tastic film)
L’atalante (Jean Vigo, 1934, b/w)
Beauty And The Beast (La Belle Et La Bête) (Jean Cocteau, 1946, b/w) (everyone makes a pilgrimage to Jean Cocteau's grave don't they? Only to find the little churchyard closed after a two hour detour? Just me then? Oh well...)
Madame De ... (Max Ophüls, 1953, b/w)
Jules And Jim (Jules Et Jim) (François Truffaut, 1962, b/w)
The Umbrellas Of Cherbourg (Les Parapluies De Cherbourg) (Jacques Demy, 1964)
A Man And A Woman (Un Homme Et Une Femme) (Claude Lelouch, 1966) (quite possibly the best film soundtrack ever)
Betty Blue (37˚ 2 Le Matin) (Jean-Jacques Beineix, 1986)
Cyrano De Bergerac (Jean-Paul Rappeneau, 1990)
Lovers On The Bridge (Les Amants Du Pont-Neuf) (Leos Carax, 1991)

Thrillers

The Butcher (Le Boucher) (Claude Chabrol, 1970)
Daybreak (Le Jour Se Lève) (Marcel Carné, 1939, b/w)
The Raven (Le Corbeau) (Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1943, b/w)
Diabolique (Les Diaboliques) (Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1955, b/w)
Eyes Without A Face (Les Yeux Sans Visage) (Georges Franju, 1959, b/w)
The Finger Man (Le Doulos) (Jean-Pierre Melville, 1962, b/w)
The Hole (Le Trou) (Jacques Becker, 1960, b/w)
Nikita (Luc Besson, 1990)
L’appartement (Gilles Mimouni, 1996)
Read My Lips (Sur Mes Lèvres) (Jacques Audiard, 2001)

Comedies

The Rules Of The Game (La Règle Du Jeu) (Jean Renoir, 1939, b/w)
The Crime Of Monsieur Lange (Le Crime De Monsieur Lange) (Jean Renoir, 1936, b/w)
Bizarre, Bizarre (Drôle De Drame) (Marcel Carné, 1937 b/w)
Mr Hulot’s Holiday (Les Vacances De M. Hulot) (Jacques Tati, 1951, b/w)
The Discreet Charm Of The Bourgeoisie (Le Charme Discret De La Bourgeoisie) (Luis Buñuel, 1972)
Making It (Les Valseuses) (Bertrand Blier, 1974)
Birds Of A Feather (La Cage Aux Folles) (Edouard Molinaro, 1978)
An Autumn Tale (Conte D’automne) (Eric Rohmer, 1998)
Other People’s Taste (Le Goût Des Autres) (Agnès Jaoui, 2000)
Ma Femme Est Une Actrice (My Wife Is An Actress) (Yvan Attal, 2001

Nouvelle Vague

Contempt (Le Mépris) (Jean-Luc Godard, 1963) (Godard's worst 60s film in my opinion. As they've got Bande A Part in another category, Weekend would have fitted here quite nicely)
Hiroshima Mon Amour (Alain Resnais, 1959, b/w)
The 400 Blows (Les Quatre Cents Coups) (François Truffaut, 1959, b/w) (only one Truffaut film in the list? Travesty!)
The Girls (Les Bonnes Femmes) (Claude Chabrol, 1960 b/w)
Last Year In Marienbad (L’année Dernière À Marienbad) (Alain Resnais, 1961, b/w)
The Young Girls Of Rochefort (Les Demoiselles De Rochefort) (Jacques Demy, 1967)
My Night With Maud (Ma Nuit Chez Maud) (Eric Rohmer, 1969, b/w,)
Celine And Julie Go Boating (Céline Et Julie Vont En Bateau) (Jacques Rivette, 1974)
Sunless (Sans Soleil) (Chris Marker)
Vagabond (Sans Toit Ni Loi) (Agnès Varda)

Landmarks

Voyage To The Moon (Le Voyage Dans La Lune) (Georges Méliès, 1902)
Arrival Of A Train At The Station (L’arrivée D’un Train À La Ciotat) (Louis Lumière, 1895, b/w)
Napoléon (Abel Gance, 1927, b/w)
The Passion Of Joan Of Arc (La Passion De Jeanne D’arc) (Carl Theodor Dreyer, 1927, b/w)
An Andalusian Dog (Un Chien Andalou) (Luis Buñuel, 1928, b/w)
The Sorrow And The Pity (Le Chagrin Et La Pitié) (Marcel Ophüls, 1969, b/w)
The Mother And The Whore (La Maman Et La Putain) (Jean Eustache, 1973, b/w)
Diva (Jean-Jacques Beineix, 1981)
To Our Loves (À Nos Amours) (Maurice Pialat, 1983)
Histoire(S) Du Cinema (Jean-Luc Godard, 1998)

Shorts

Entr’acte (René Clair, 1924, b/w)
Blood Of A Poet (Le Sang D’un Poète) (Jean Cocteau, 1930, b/w)

Zero For Conduct (Zero De Conduite) (Jean Vigo, 1933, b/w, DVD)

A Day In The Country (Une Partie De Campagne) (Jean Renoir, 1936 b/w)

Blood Of The Beasts (Le Sang Des Bêtes) (Georges Franju, 1949, b/w)
A Song Of Love (Un Chant D’amour) (Jean Genet, 1950, b/w)
Night And Fog (Nuit Et Brouillard) (Alain Resnais, 1955)

The Red Balloon (Le Ballon Rouge) (Albert Lamorrise, 1956)

The Jetty (La Jetée) (Chris Marker, 1962, b/w)
Real Cool Time (Ce Vieux Rêve Qui Bouge) (Alain Guiraudie, 2001)

Icons

Deneuve/Béart/Huppert/Ledoyen/Ardant/Darrieux/Sagnier/ Richard: 8 Women (Huit Femmes) (François Ozon, 2002) Jean Gabin: Pépé Le Moko (Julien Duvivier, 1937, b/w)
Brigitte Bardot: And God Created Woman (Et Dieu . . . Créa La Femme) (Roger Vadim, 1956)
Jeanne Moreau: Lift To The Scaffold (Ascenseur Pour L’échafaud) (Louis Malle, 1958, b/w) -
Alain Delon: Purple Noon (Plein Soleil) (René Clément, 1960)
Anna Karina: Band Of Outsiders (Bande À Part) (Jean-Luc Godard, 1964, b/w)
Catherine Deneuve: Belle De Jour (Luis Buñuel, 1967)
Gérard Depardieu/ Emmanuelle Béart/ Yves Montand: Jean De Florette/ Manon Des Sources (Claude Berri, 1986)
Isabelle Adjani: La Reine Margot (Patrice Chéreau, 1994)
Jean Reno: Léon (Luc Besson, 1994)


The only other national list I could possibly have seen enough of to bother with would be Germany - other than that, there are alarmingly large gaps in my film knowledge. Although I surely deserve some sort of prize for having seen all but one of the Andy Hardy films...


*this is a problem, as it interferes terribly with my Goons listening/Spike Milligan appreciation. Though at least with radio I don't have to see his hideous, constant-air-of-seedy-desperation face

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Damned internet, with its constant distractions...

Must. Go. To. Bed.

Must. Resist. Urge. To. Shop...

There's really no need for me to be online at 4 in the morning, looking at corsets and petticoats.


If only they'd stop making them so damned purty...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Me and Princess Di

So there I was, innocently watching a feature on GMTV about tonight's Charles, Camilla, and Diana drama Whatever Love Means, when a familiar face appeared on the screen. A quick check of the TV guide confirmed my suspicions - someone I used to work with was going to be on TV.
That someone is Michelle Duncan, one of the sweetest, kindest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and it's a positive delight to see her doing so well. It's nice to see people who deserve success achieving it. Although this does mean I'm going to have to watch an ITV Drama, and a royalty-based one at that. But hey, Michelle's in it! And she'll be in an episode of Doctor Who soon too! Yay!

Monday, December 26, 2005

So Christmas is over...

... and thank fuck for that.
I did of course forget one link in the festive rundown, possibly the most important one of all - the Samaritans.
Bah humbug...

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Day Twenty-Five: It's Christmas!!!!!!!!!1111eleventy

Yes, I know, I'm posting ahead of time - I won't have access to the computer on the actual days. I've run out of links or things to say, so here's some pretty pictures.





Saturday, December 24, 2005

Day Twenty-Four: War On Christmas?

Some folks seem to be getting their knickers in a twist about the secularisation of Christmas. This takes a few different forms, from horror at the use of the word Xmas, to the rather more extreme view (apparently there's a liberal conspiracy to silence all Christians. Yes of course there is...) Strangely enough, when people try to find evidence for this, it seems to be somewhat lacking...

And not all Christians agree with Christmas anyway - this chap is particularly annoyed with it...

Friday, December 23, 2005

Day Twenty-Three: Let There Be Light

Back in the olden days, Christmas decorating was a relatively simple affair - get a tree, add some baubles, chuck a bit of tinsel around, and, if you wanted to be really daring, maybe add some twinkling lights.

Those days are long gone. apparently it's all about houseblinging now. The brighter, more extravagant, and more over the top your house exterior looks, the better. Shock horror, it's a trend originating in the USA, but it has definitely arrived on our shores. If you don't have a neon Santa dancing on your roof, you're nobody...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Day Twenty-Two: Multi-faith Extravaganza

If you're not into Christmas, there's plenty of other festivities to choose from at this time of year. It's a bit late now for Bodhi Day, but not to worry, how about a bit of Kwanzaa? Or you could always take some time out to mark Zarathosht Diso, the death of the Prophet Zarathrustra.

The biggie is, of course, Hanukkah. Here's a guide for children, and some recipes.

The Wicca perspective reclaims the Winter Solstice from it's Christian overcoating.

And what about the rest of us? Well, thanks in large part to Seinfeld, we have Festivus!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Day Twenty-One: Oh Yes It Is!

One of the great Christmas traditions on these shores is the pantomime, a peculiar mix of music, comedy, fairy tale, and double entendre.

A basic introduction to the panto concept is available from Wikipedia, and an outline of the necessary elements for writing a show is here.

There is also a guided tour of pantoland, and an excellent guide to the history of this unique form of theatre courtesy of It's Behind You. Scotland is particularly strong on panto, as demonstrated here.

And if you want to know what show is on where, the Big Panto Guide is the definitive list of professional and amateur performances.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Day Twenty: Hooray for the internet


Sometimes I love the internet. Sometimes it can turn up things like Christmas songs by Sufjan Stevens.

And of course, it's also good for things like photos of children being scared by Santa.

Yay!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Day Nineteen: A-carolling We Shall Go


You really know it's about three months till Christmas when the shops start playing all the festive favourites, but as it's actually the right time for them now, how about a few sites dedicated to them?

There's a good selection of traditional carols here, with information on their origins.

An extremely wide selection is covered by The Hymns and Carols of Christmas.

More modern Christmas songs are featured here.

There is a particularly strong carol singing tradition in the north of England, a notable event being the Sheffield Carols

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Day Eighteen: Here Comes Santa Claus



Want to know more about Santa? Then try the Santa Faq

If you want to write to him, then head off to Santa's Mailroom

And of course, before you write, it might be helpful to find out if you've been bad or good

If you want to track Santa as he heads around the world, try the NORAD Santa Tracker, or one of the Christmas Webcams

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Day Seventeen: Christmas Plants

There are various plants and flowers associated with Christmas time. Many of these in fact pre-date Christianity, being variously associated with Celtic, Nordic, Germanic and Roman practices.

Information on the traditions surrounding these plants can be found at the links below::

The fir tree
Holly
Ivy
Mistletoe
Poinsettia
Christmas Rose
Glastonbury Thorn

Ah, the wit! The humour!

That X Factor mention below just reminded me of some particularly fine, and ever so mature, pics I done gone made of last year's winner and runners-up, Steve "Pub Singer" Brookstein and operatic fools G4. So here they are for your viewing "pleasure".


where is he now? does anyone care?

look! it's a fat man!















That peculiar feeling you're experiencing now is your sides splitting...

As for this year's final I really don't care who wins. As long as it's not the painfully earnest Journey South. And I'd rather the charisma-free zone that is Shayne Ward (he's young, he's from Manchester - really Louis? How very informative) didn't win. Not that fussed about Andy either, to be honest. Still, at least Zoe Ball isn't on the show...

Friday, December 16, 2005

Day Sixteen: Do You Hear What I Hear?


Penguin Books have a podcast of Dicken's A Christmas Carol, read by Geoffrey Palmer. Which is awfully nice of them. And apparently, it's so popular that they're having some "technical difficulties", but I'm sure it'll be back shortly... *7a.m. EDIT* it's back Back BACK! And I need some sleep - The Bitch Factor kept me up reading all night, the swines. And naturally, I didn't stumble across it until they'd already abandoned ship. Bah and, indeed, humbug...

Project Gutenberg have audio books of some Dickens Christmas Stories and the Christmas Books by Thackeray

Amazon.com have a selection of Christmas mp3s available for download (possibly not the best versions the world has ever heard, but hey, they're free and legal). I'm sure Rude Ass the Farting Reindeer by The Fart Guys is a delightful gem...

And on a non-audio note, Listphilia is doing a splendid Christmas A to Z

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Day Fifteen: So There's This Guy Called Jesus...


... and apparently these Christmas shenanigans are something to do with his birthday

And it seems that there's a book called the Bible that has several versions of the story - one by a chap named Matthew, and another by a fella called Luke

Or for a more exciting version, you can also see it in the form of Lego or fine art

It would appear that there are quite a few different ideas about this story, some more serious than others

And there was me thinking it was all about a fat man in a red suit, mince pies, and presents...

Monday, December 12, 2005

Day Twelve: Office Survival

Two links for you today -

The Cap'n's Unfortunate Christmas Cards

and for those of you unfortunate enough to be stuck in Seasonal Office Hell,

The Guardian's Office Party Pack

I hope it's of some consolation as you're forced to make stilted small talk with that cow from accounts over the mince pies...

Friday, December 09, 2005

Day Nine - A Liddle Bidda Kulchir



Let's raise the tone today, with a truly magnificent, dead classy Christmas treat.

Or on the other hand, there's always the Lake District Baarmy Sheep....

Oh dear...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Day 6 and 7

Yes yes, I know, I'm horrendously late with yesterday's entry - I was out, okay? I dragged my flu-addled body to Glasgow to see the New Pornographers playing at the ABC. More about that later, if you promise to behave.

So it's a bit of a double whammy today then. First of all, how about some Christmas poetry? There's one on here by Ian McMillan, who, back in the day, used to do some of the poetry bits on Mark Radcliffe's late night Radio One show. Shame they don't have a recording of it really, as he has the most avuncular voice in the western hemisphere - if Santa Claus came from Yorkshire, that is how he'd sound.

I did have a look at the Poetry Archive, but when a search for christmas throws up a poem called "My Mammogram", you know it ain't going to be a cheery little number...

The second festive number I have for you is the script for It's A Wonderful Life, everyone's favourite Jimmy Stewart and an angel at Christmas time movie.

And just so you know how much I care, I'll thrown in an extra bonus - how about a bad pun?

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Day Four





Today's festive delight -

The complete text of Charles Dicken's A Christms Carol
complete with purty pictures

Friday, December 02, 2005

On the second day of Christmas...




The British Turkey Information Service Cooking FAQ



2005 Advent Calendar Presented by Q-Creative Multimedia

Falling and Laughing

Betsie clumsily maims herself part 3821:



I managed this little beauty while walking home from Tesco last night. My little tumble was in no way related to the earlier ale consumption, nope, couldn't possibly be...

On the first day of christmas...

Well, okay, a teensy bit into the second day, but don't hold that against me...

For today's festive treat, here's a little link for you - Advent Calendars - The History of a Christmas Tradition