I went to see the psychiatrist today.
So, farewell then, fizzy orange mirtazapine, you singularly failed to do your job and instead gave me a terrible toasted cheese and sugar habit (not together, I hasten to add). Turns out it does that to everyone.
I've had enough bad experiences with medication by now to know that it pays to know what you're getting into. It's helpful to know that the side effects are just that, and you're not actually going insane. Having said that, reading a site like this should come with a health warning all of it's very own. Naturally those worst effected by a medication tend to be the most vocal in discussions as to it's efficacy. There's a heap load of negativity there, but then much of it comes from a. people who tried it for a few days then quit (side effects are normally at their worst for the first fortnight or so before settling down) b. people for whom this is their first experience of being medicated (at this point in my life, I don't need to know that it's better/worse than not taking anything at all. That's not an option for me) c. people who decide without a doctor's advise to come off an SSRI cold turkey then tell you what a nightmare it was. Well, duh...
So what do I have to look forward to this time? Well for starters, I get to be like Judy Garland on the MGM lot, taking my uppers to get up and go, and my downers to calm me right back down again and take me to the Land of Nod. Hurrah!
It could have been worse, lithium was briefly mooted before being swiftly batted away (there's kidney and thyroid problems in the family, I'd be seriously chancing it on that stuff. Oh and have I mentioned how jealous I am of those lucky bipolar people? They don't know they're born, with their periods of intense creativity and activity. They're the glamorous out-of-town cousin to the dowdy housewife of the boring old depressive).
So with my morning pill, I could end up with:
headache, nausea, dry mouth, sweating, sleepiness or insomnia, diarrhea or constipation, weight gain, loss of libido
Any for the night-time one:
sleepiness, headache, sleepiness, dizziness, sleepiness, nausea, sleepiness, dry mouth, sleepiness, blurry vision, sleepiness, sweating, sleepiness, insomnia or sleepiness, diarrhea or constipation, and did I mention you'll be tired?
With a possibility of:
Low blood pressure, weight gain. General cardiac weirdness, vivid or unusual dreams.
Just the usual then. I'm looking forward to the dreams actually, that's about the only thing I miss about the dreaded Effexor. I certainly don't miss the randomly-falling-over habit which I choose to ascribe to it and not to my general uselessness, nor do I miss it's insanely short half-life (meaning that you start getting withdrawal symptoms by the time you go to take your next pill. And if you miss a day, that's your brain fried).
Right, I'm off to cut a pill in half.
Over and out.
So, farewell then, fizzy orange mirtazapine, you singularly failed to do your job and instead gave me a terrible toasted cheese and sugar habit (not together, I hasten to add). Turns out it does that to everyone.
I've had enough bad experiences with medication by now to know that it pays to know what you're getting into. It's helpful to know that the side effects are just that, and you're not actually going insane. Having said that, reading a site like this should come with a health warning all of it's very own. Naturally those worst effected by a medication tend to be the most vocal in discussions as to it's efficacy. There's a heap load of negativity there, but then much of it comes from a. people who tried it for a few days then quit (side effects are normally at their worst for the first fortnight or so before settling down) b. people for whom this is their first experience of being medicated (at this point in my life, I don't need to know that it's better/worse than not taking anything at all. That's not an option for me) c. people who decide without a doctor's advise to come off an SSRI cold turkey then tell you what a nightmare it was. Well, duh...
So what do I have to look forward to this time? Well for starters, I get to be like Judy Garland on the MGM lot, taking my uppers to get up and go, and my downers to calm me right back down again and take me to the Land of Nod. Hurrah!
It could have been worse, lithium was briefly mooted before being swiftly batted away (there's kidney and thyroid problems in the family, I'd be seriously chancing it on that stuff. Oh and have I mentioned how jealous I am of those lucky bipolar people? They don't know they're born, with their periods of intense creativity and activity. They're the glamorous out-of-town cousin to the dowdy housewife of the boring old depressive).
So with my morning pill, I could end up with:
headache, nausea, dry mouth, sweating, sleepiness or insomnia, diarrhea or constipation, weight gain, loss of libido
Any for the night-time one:
sleepiness, headache, sleepiness, dizziness, sleepiness, nausea, sleepiness, dry mouth, sleepiness, blurry vision, sleepiness, sweating, sleepiness, insomnia or sleepiness, diarrhea or constipation, and did I mention you'll be tired?
With a possibility of:
Low blood pressure, weight gain. General cardiac weirdness, vivid or unusual dreams.
Just the usual then. I'm looking forward to the dreams actually, that's about the only thing I miss about the dreaded Effexor. I certainly don't miss the randomly-falling-over habit which I choose to ascribe to it and not to my general uselessness, nor do I miss it's insanely short half-life (meaning that you start getting withdrawal symptoms by the time you go to take your next pill. And if you miss a day, that's your brain fried).
Right, I'm off to cut a pill in half.
Over and out.
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3 comments:
What the prescriber of these mind-mashing chemicals has says (professionally) about your allusion-comparison to Judy Garland...that's what I'd like to know.
*Addendum - disregard the word "has" in the above comment. My own morning chemical of choice, caffeine, immoderately high dosage, has has has contributed to this error.
I tend to avoid invoking comparisons with suiciding/accidental overdosing celebrities when I visit my purveyors of pills. On the theory that I'd actually like to be given some of them.
On a related note, the doctor I was made to visit as part of a continuing state benefits thing seemed vaguely amused by my best case scenario for My Future (basically, living on my own, going gradually insane, surrounding myself with so many animals that I become known as The Mad Old Cat Lady, and finally being found a month after my death, collapsed under a mountain of household detritus, and having been half-eaten by said pets). Can't think why he found that funny...
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