Is it National Take The Grandkids To The Park Day, or are there just a large number of pensioner IVF couples and/or kidnapping geriatric paedophiles round my way?
On the subject of old folks, I had a birthday on Sunday, and my age is starting to catch up with me. Not so very long ago, I was being accused of looking 19 (and I was only 18 at the time as well, boom tish), but I think it's safe to say those days are past. Nasty little lines are starting to appear around my eyes, and years of retail fake-smiling have resulted in creases around the mouth (not on a Billie Piper scale, but then I don't have hamster cheeks and a gob the size of a small country either...). I think I'd better hunt out the moisturiser again.
So I'm doomed, but what about humanity? That's what Stephen Hawking wanted to know, and he's given his own solution now too: in summary, "er, I don't know, let's all go to space!". Yep, that's a good idea, if you make one planet uninhabitable, just bugger off to another one. Naughty humans, if you don't stop polluting, there'll be no pudding for you! Personally I rather liked the solution a listener to BBC Five Live's Drive show yesterday came up with - the way to save humankind is via a Blue Peter Appeal (and perhaps sticky-backed plastic could be utilised to patch the ozone layer together).
2 comments:
Dear Betsie,
I feel inexplicably angry and deeply unfulfilled. Is there something Blue Peter, the government or that TV scientist bloke with the tash can do about this, or is this just the way life goes?
Yours sincerely
Kieran
Dear Kieran,
While I sympathise with your distress, I'm afraid Dr Winston is unable to assist you in this matter.
I can only suggest that you Pull Yourself Together, Cheer Up It Might Never Happen, and try to maintain a Stiff Upper Lip.
Best of British, Old Bean,
Betsie
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