Olympics 2008 Monkey Movie - BBC Sport

Long time no post

I hope the world is well for you, dear reader.

Be careful out there, people.

Egads...

Boris Johnson in charge of a city.

This can't end well...

Salvador Dali on "What's My Line"

Help

Someone tell me what to write. I can't think on my own anymore...

Pot Noodle - a healthy and nutritious food source

It isn't really, is it?

elbow - grounds for divorce

Gasp!

George Harrison came back from the dead to kidnap Maddy! Oh noes!

These are absolutely delicious. Just thought I'd share :)

Festive Gripe

Christmas and New Year are shit, and families are vile.


Oh, for a hermit's cave (with an internet connection)...

Ra Big Gemme

So it's crunch time.
The rest of Scotland seems to be full of confidence.
I don't like it when they do that :(

I have a bad feeling.

But hopefully I'll report back later that I was being overly pessimistic.
That would be nice...

Woohoo! or something similar

So Glasgow will be hosting the 2014 Commonwealth Games.


I shall now try very hard to summon some enthusiasm regarding this news.



Nope, nothing yet...



(I'm back, by the way)

Hiatus

Back whenever.

Blockage

Gah, I can't think what to write.

Someone else think of something, will you?

Gah...

Postural hypotension can fuck right off.

That is all.

Ha ha!

The oats have it

Who says Scotland isn't at the cutting edge of technology?

Porridge bowl sets world record

The biggest bowl of porridge ever made has been created in Edinburgh, breaking the world record.

Weighing 81.2kg, the huge breakfast was expected to fill up to 2,000 bowls at the Edinburgh Farmers' Market.

The feat broke the existing world record, which was set at 66.26 kg at a farmers' market event in Warwickshire in January.

They've only gone and done it!

Korma Chameleon

Dear Tesco,

Thank you very much for having a product research day in store today, my detailed assessment of your two chicken korma samples just saved me from having to make lunch.

Regards,
Betsie

In related news, as overheard on the bus today: "These days you have to ask the driver if you want to go to Tesco, you can't tell if they will or not". Some belated advice, my dear - try looking at the fucking timetable, where it clearly states which buses go where and when. Or if that's too difficult, try looking at the front of the fucking bus, where you can tell whether it's going via Tesco by the big fucking letters saying "via Tesco". I'm just full of helpful tips, aren't I?

In unrelated news, it's the final of Big Brother 7 tonight. Who wins? Who cares! (edit: it is, of course, Big Brother 8. Which does somewhat demonstrate just how dire it's been. If someone who has watched it all from the start gets that wrong, something is clearly rotten in the state of Endemol)

And in irrelevant to the universe as a whole news: Princess Diana In Still Dead Shocker.