Comedy Gold

Celebrity Big Brother continues to make headlines even now it's over, but let's leave aside the racism and bullying allegations, and remember the moment when a tiny little man with a ludicrously inflated ego made a break for freedom. With hilarious consequences...

Call me a heartless fiend if you like, but, were I to set up a website commemorating a murdered relative, I'd probably do a spell check on the text first...

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Woe is me part 15671

I am obese. I already weighed too much before Christmas, but the season of excess, and an increased appetite resulting from a change in medication have seen me balloon.

I was first really aware of it on Christmas Day. I'd bought a new top for the occasion a few months previously, but now it was suddenly too tight. Then the huge mirror in the kitchen in my mother's new house mocked me with its hideous display.

I feel sluggish, like I'm walking through treacle. Going slowly up a hill to catch the bus leaves me painfully breathless. More than about half an hour's walking in a day leaves my feet aching and my muscles stiff with the exertion of shifting my excess weight around.

Only my baggiest, most shapeless clothes fit any more - and there aren't very many of them. I look and feel like an unfit, frumpy, repulsive slob.



Still, mustn't grumble.

Yeah right.

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300 years and counting...

Happy Birthday, Act of Union(zip file, complete original text)

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Reality TV will eat itself

Like a circle in a spiral,

Like a wheel within a wheel

Never ending or beginning

On an ever spinning reel



(humblest apologies to Michel Legrand)

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He's singing in the rain...

The question of the day: what on earth is Ken Russell, the man responsible for this film (amongst many others), doing in the Celebrity Big Brother house? And why is he dressed like it's mid-1974?

I'm sure Grace Dent will provide the answer shortly...

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Have something to say? He doesn't care

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